Birth Story
Preparing for birth is one of the most important things I did. From taking two different birth classes, to listening to hundreds of different birth stories and even watching Youtube videos of people’s births. It consumed me for the second half of my pregnancy. I was listening and learning everything I could to prepare myself for what was to come. I battled with HG (hyperemesis gravidarum) which made me utterly sick for the entire 39 weeks and five days that I was pregnant. So, listening to birth stories was a nice way for me to view the end in sight and get myself to stop thinking about how nauseous I was day and night.
On the morning that I would go into labor I remember not throwing up. I told my husband who jokingly said, “watch today will be the day you go into labor.” Boy, was he right. However, at the time I felt like my normal self. I was having mild pelvic pain and still having to pee every one to two hours. I took it easy that day, going with my normal routine of taking zofran in the morning, trying to eat some breakfast and wondering when my labor would begin. Fast forward to that evening and I get a call from my father. It was about 3 p.m. in Hawaii and he was calling to see how I was doing. I told him I feel fine and don’t think labor was going to begin anytime soon. After I got off the phone I had enchiladas for dinner then I told my husband I’d like to take an evening stroll and do some more curb walking.
Curb walking is when you walk with one foot up on the curb of the street. My doula told me it helps with pelvic pain, positioning the baby in the optimal position for birth and in her words, “gets things moving in the right direction.” I was doing them daily for about three weeks along with eating two to four dates a day and attemptomg to get familiar with using a breast pump. All things to help my body spontaneously go into labor.
It looked like it was about to rain so my husband told me he’d like to come but it will probably have to be a brisk walk. We ended up doing about a mile around our neighborhood and I got in my curb walking! When we got back to our house we sat on the couch and put on a show to watch. Around 7 p.m. I noticed some mild cramps coming in waves. It felt like period pain to me and I have been getting them at night for about a week. I didn’t think anything of it but in case I was in fact going into labor I wanted to get some rest. At 7:50 p.m. I attempted to go to sleep but didn’t get much rest. At 10 p.m. what I thought was normal pregnancy pain amped up. My “cramps” were coming in waves every seven to 10 minutes and I was having to lightly breathe through them.
My husband definitely knew something was happening and he started timing my contractions and contacted our doula. I was told to keep timing them and try to get some rest. From what she said, first time labor typically lasts around 12 hours. So, if this was my body starting the early stages of labor I needed to get all the rest I could get!
At 10:50 p.m. my contractions were coming every 7 mins and I was not getting any sleep in between. I decided to hop in the shower and see if the hot water would make me feel better. I was in the shower for about 20 minutes when I decided to run a bath and sit in the hot water. Unfortunately we misplaced our bathtub plug so the bath wasn’t working out for me. Once I got out of the bathtub it was about 11:30 p.m. and my contractions were now five to six minutes apart.
They felt like bad period cramps coming in waves. I downloaded a contraction tracking app and it told me to start preparing to go to the hospital. For the next 90 minutes I stomped through the contractions, loudly groaned, used the bathroom to empty my bladder every 30 minutes and used a comb to hold onto to distract my brain from the discomfort. While I was laboring upstairs in our bedroom my husband was packing the hospital bag, getting the car seat ready, texting our doula and taking care of our dog.
I was feeling relatively okay, for one laboring, until 12:50 p.m. when things really took a turn. Looking back I believe I was starting the transition process. I walked downstairs and started throwing up my dinner. It was not fun and I couldn’t eat enchiladas for about six months after the fact because it brought back memories of that night. RIght after I threw up my dinner I had this intense feeling of needing to poop! I waddled to the bathroom and saw a glob of blood in my underwear. From all the birth stories I listened to and the classes I took I didn’t remember ever hearing about “the bloody show” which I now know is quite common during labor.
Right after I see the blood in my underwear I start to push! My body was literally pushing involuntarily. I started to freak out and screamed for my husband to grab me a pad and help me. My husband, being the saint that he is, did so and told me the car is ready and we should leave now except, I couldn’t get off of the toilet. I was having contraction after contraction every 2 minutes and with each contraction I was pushing.
I somehow muscled my way off of the toilet, waddled to the garage and managed to get the words out that I needed to sit on a towel in case my water broke. After a towel was laid onto the seat I managed to somewhat sit in the car and focus on my breathing. It was raining the entire drive to the hospital which was about a 35 minute drive.
I remember loudly moaning with each contraction which was coming every four minutes and sometimes I would push and other times I didn’t have the urge. My husband kindly asked if I wanted the radio on and I told him absolutely not. I wanted to sit in silence and focus on my breathing. At this point my contractions hurt but were not unbearable. I would say it was 6.5 out of 10 on pain. We got to the hospital which sat up on a hill, meaning, I would have to walk up the hill to enter the front doors.
It was always my dream to have an unmedicated birth with as little interventions as possible but as I was walking up that hill not knowing how dilated I was, I told my husband I needed the epidural. Looking back now, I was doubting my capability. Once we got up the hill and entered the hospital we had to then get on an elevator to get to the labor and delivery ward. As we enter the front doors my husband checks us in just after 2:15 a.m. and I go into this small room to be seen by the OB on shift. After walking up the hill, waiting in the elevator and sitting on the hospital bed I somehow felt better and told the OB when she was checking how dilated I was to not tell me how far along I am.
I heard this from different birth stories, of women not wanting to know how dilated they were. For example, if I was only five centimeters that probably would have discouraged me and I would have asked for the epidural. The OB who checked me seemed surprised by my request and when she checked me she asked again if I didn’t want to know. I told her she could tell my husband but I didn’t want to be discouraged by the number. She then said, “oh no mama you're ready to push now. This baby is coming.”
I was in complete shock. I started to cry, not from pain, not from excitement but from being so puzzled. I wasn’t in agonizing pain, my labor had only been going on strong for a few hours, how in the world was I ready to push? I said through tears, “oh no she is so safe inside me how am I ready to push now?” The nurse was preparing the room I got checked in for me to give birth but my midwife walked in and said, “hey Kaile, I hear you're about to have this baby now?” I could feel my face light up, my muscles relaxed and I was so happy to see her.
At the Army hospital I birthed my daughter at, they had a midwife organization who I opted to see for all of my visits starting at 20 weeks. I told all of them my desire to have an unmedicated low intervention birth and they were all so supportive. At the hospital I gave birth to my daughter, the epidural rate is 90% so I knew if I did not get one I would be in the tiny minority.
My midwife took one look at me and said, “come on, we have a baby to birth.” I hopped off the hospital bed and waddled to my birthing suite. I started to feel a contraction coming as soon as I entered the room I fell to my hands and knees on the ground and moaned through a contraction. My midwife said I can birth this baby however I want. However, it might be more comfortable to pop up on the bed and be on my hands and knees that way. That’s exactly what I did.
While I was getting comfortable my husband was talking to our doula. She was also surprised how fast things moved with me and unfortunately wouldn’t make the birth. She was on the opposite side of the island making her way to us but her ETA was 35 minutes and I was having the baby now.
Here comes the hard part. I hated pushing. I wouldn’t say it was extremely painful but it didn’t feel good. Some women, who I have talked to, said they loved this part of their labor, seeing their hard work mean something after hours and hours of laboring. I am in the minority where my labor wasn’t that bad. I labored at home and had moderate discomfort at best. So, when it came to pushing I was taken by shock. It hurt, I felt like I wasn’t in tune with my body and I was just not getting into a good rhythm. The pain at this point was 7.5 out of 10. The first contraction my midwife told me to push I did for a little bit breathing in through my nose and out with my mouth and felt like I wasn’t doing anything. I couldn’t feel my daughter descend. All I felt was uncomfortable pain. After that first contraction I told my midwife I didn’t feel like I wasn’t doing anything. She assured me I was. For the second contraction the OB checked and said I was about to meet my daughter. For the third contraction the OB said she could see my daughter's head with hair! That surprised me because both my husband and I were bald babies and in that same contraction I pushed out her body. She flew out and landed on the bed. I am so thankful I popped up onto the bed or else she would have flown onto the floor. I pulled her up between my legs and turned over to lay on the bed. My midwife said my water broke just as she was coming out. My daughter was born at 2:42 a.m. in Honolulu, Hawaii.
If you have made it this far into my journey thank you for reading. I look back at my birth story with such great triumph and joy. I loved every single minute of it reflecting back. From the early stages of labor to transitioning in my bathroom, the silent car ride to the hospital and the utter shock on my OB’s face when I checked in already at 10 centimeters as a first time mom, to holding my beautiful daughter in my arms it was amazing. I hope my story brings light to other positive birth experiences. I ended up having the birth I dreamed about. Completely unmedicated, intervention free and pushing in the position that felt right to me, I credit listening to birth stories, being well informed of my options, knowing my birthing team and having an all-star husband who let me move at my own pace. Thank you for reading!
-Kindly Kaile
