Breastfeeding Journey
When I was pregnant I knew I wanted to try to breastfeed my daughter. I didn’t know anything about breastfeeding and did little research. I took two birth classes that briefly went over the pros and cons to breastfeeding and what I should have on hand. For example, having a breast pump, bottles, a Hakka and some nipple cream was important.
I put breast milk freezer bags, nipple cream, lactation cookies, a “boppy” breastfeeding pillow and a breastfeeding cover on my registry and my friends and family were so generous to get it all for me. I thought I had it all and it would be a seemingly easy journey. Boy, was I wrong.
When I delivered my baby we did delayed cord clamping and waited to do the first wipe down. I had a beautiful golden two hours after my birth where I tried to get my daughter to latch. The first latch was strong! I didn’t know what to expect but my daughter was hungry and she latched on tight! I was actually surprised by how strong the latch was and I instantly started to produce colostrum.
After the first two hours of holding my daughter and her being latched for most of the time we weighed her, took her measurements and then my husband did skin to skin while I showered.
The first 48 hours went by so fast! I breastfed her every 2 hours and even brought some syringes of my colostrum I collected at home from using my Spectra breast pump. We combo fed her from my boobs and with the colostrum we brought from home.
I remember in the first two days of having her my nipples were extremely sore. Her latch was very tight and I had to breathe through her suckling because it hurt so much. In the early days when you nurse a baby you can also feel like you’re having g contractions because the hormone that helps produce milk also helps reduce your uterus. So I was sore from just having a baby, my uterus was shrinking and it felt like I was in labor and my nipples were extremely sore.
Once we got home it was so surreal. Being first time parents it was such a mix of emotions having to take care of our daughter and choosing to nurse her. The first week I would set an alarm on my phone every two hours to offer her my breast to nurse from. Every single feed hurt. I would hold my breath, clench my fist and try to muscle through the pain of breastfeeding. At her two week appointment I mentioned my concern to her pediatrician who set up an appointment with a lactation consultant.
At my first lactation consultant visit I was told that I had a good supply of milk and my daughter was eating enough because she was just over her birth weight. However, she didn’t have an answer for my pain. She taught me the “flipple” technique to get a better latch and sent me on my way.
Fast forward to now six weeks nursing my daughter and my nipples still hurt with every feed. It would get so bad where I would pump during the night and give her bottles and feed during the day. I felt guilty that I couldn’t breastfeed her on demand because of the constant nipple pain. How could I have gone through a complete unmedicated birth yet, breastfeeding my daughter, which mothers have been doing since the dawn of time, was too painful. It was very hard on me mentally, physically and spiritually.
I booked another appointment with the lactation consultant who once again assured me I was producing enough milk, my daughter did not have a tongue or lip tie and my latch looked good. She taught me another way to hold her which was by doing the reclined position to ensure she had a deep latch.
By week eight I was still having breastfeeding discomfort and still waking up every two hours to pump at night and offer it to her. During each pumping session at night I would frantically google “breastfeeding pain” and would come up short on what could be causing me so much harm. Was it her latch? Was it a possible tongue tie? Could it be me overproducing? Was it the flange size on my pump? I never found exactly what I was looking for.
I had one last lactation consultant visit before we were taking a trip to California. She looked at my cracked nipples and didn’t offer any real reason as to why they were still so sore. My daughter was nine weeks old at this point. She suggested getting better fitting flanges for my breast pump and to no longer use my Hakka when nursing my daughter. She suspected I was creating an oversupply. She was not wrong because I had a freezer full of my pumped breast milk.
I took her advice and stopped pumping throughout the night and instead tried nursing my daughter more on demand. Things got better. By twelve weeks I was feeding on demand, only pumping once or twice a day to relieve discomfort and my nipples were healing. What I suspect is my daughter having a tight latch which would pinch my nipples. I would read post from women who would say it takes a couple of weeks for your nipples to get used to being sucked on by a newborn and for me it took nine solid weeks.
What helped me was using nipple cream, massaging my breast, hand expressing milk out before a feed so I was so full and uncomfortable, doing the reclined position for 90% of our nursing sessions and not giving up.
I’m now 12 months into our nursing journey and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. It has been one of the most rewarding journeys I have had in motherhood and I am so happy to have shared this story with you! Thank you for reading.
-Kindly Kaile
